Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This baby is an asshole
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
