there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
