She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
