Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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