Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I want to make a zoo with you.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
