she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Someone came in the potted fern
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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