thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
