I need help removing her.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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