I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
