go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
