she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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