Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
