is your mom at the bar?
why didn't you poke me back
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize