this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
