So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
