we're blogging at a bar
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
