problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
