He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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