we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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