She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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