Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
