I puked a lego.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
