they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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