Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
