he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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