I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
