We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
