So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize