Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
