Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize