Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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