why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
