i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
