went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
