i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
