I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
