If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
pop tarts are not kleenex
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
