are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
