I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
