Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
