I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
