Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just found puke in my bra..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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