so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize