I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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