he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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