Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
