Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
