Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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