ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
