spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize