just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
