you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
