She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize