Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
