didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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