well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
