Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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