i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
