You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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