Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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