She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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