is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
