Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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