Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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